Monday, June 28, 2010

Day 198

Ugh. Stuck in a rut. I haven't written because I'm embarrassed at my lack of progress. Today I weighed myself and have actually gained a few pounds, up to 321. Lots of excuses - work has been very stressful, home has been a bit crazy, was traveling this past weekend to Los Angeles and went to spectacular dinners at fancy restaurants on someone else's dime... But it doesn't change the fact that I've really let myself go, and there's a huge part of me that has lost motivation right at this point. And no more walking since the 5K. Whiny excuses to myself about how hot it is in the mornings, but still...we have a treadmill in the basement.

I think I need to go back to my earlier blog posts and see if rereading those helps me remotivate. I did go looking for clothes last week and was glad I no longer had to search for the 30/32s, but still wasn't exactly thrilled by the way I looked in 26/28s.

It's daunting, not even looking at the long term - I'm away again next week to San Francisco, and then to a bridal shower weekend, and then two weeks later to Anaheim for a conference. Then perhaps vacation with the kids, and a wedding... I'm definitely falling into the "just let it all go" mindset of thinking about writing off the next two months. But that's not the right way to approach it, I know, but it's just so hard to refocus. I had dreamt about being at 280 for my sister-in-law's wedding in mid August, and then thought, well, if I can at least hit 300 that'll be good, and now I'm thinking, well, hopefully I won't GAIN any more weight. Argh. Help!!


  1. Hi Jen,
    I have no answers just that we are so much alike in the battle of the weight that it is scary.It frustrates me to no end that I can be moving along, losing weight, feeling good, doing the things that need to be done to get healthy then it feels like this heavy weight ( no pun intended) comes down and no matter how hard I try I over eat and don't exercise and become overwhelmed with thoughts that this goal is impossible.What are the alternatives if we give up and don't at least try, 500 pounds and bed ridden. Hang in there. You did it before so it is possible. Reach out to your support. Call the Dr. Oz show.At least try to get back on track and I will too.

  2. First, don't let go! Hard to stay focused but you don't want to backtrack. So, my two cents (and know that I'm not perfect in following my own advice!):

    Every night before you go to bed think about exactly when you will exercise the next day. Decide you will find a 20 minute window dedicated to yourself. Just 20 minutes. Build the rest of the day around it. Maybe it is first thing in the morning; maybe at lunch; maybe end of the day while watching TV. Just 20 minutes. Also good to tack it on to something that has you in motion already - like when you drop Miggy at camp, go walk for 20 minutes in that neighborhood. then it is new, interesting and your computer isn't calling you.

    Just 20 minutes. When will you do it today?


  3. You can do it, Jen! Re-read the posts after your 5K - you were on a high. You don't have to throw in the towel because you are traveling. Make it a game to see how well you can do. You don't have 100% control when you're traveling, but you aren't powerless either. Plan some healthy snacks to take. Take a cab to a grocery store and buy some fruit/veggies. One thing I have done - use Google maps to find restaurants near where I am staying, look at the menu ahead of time, and plan what I will eat. (When I was doing WW, I could look up points ahead of time.) San Francisco will be good for walking - not too hot and the hills will add to the challenge. You may not be able to be perfect, but you don't have to throw in the towel. You've worked too hard and come too far. I know you can do it!! I'll be thinking of you. xoxo

  4. There wouldn't be any roads if there weren't ruts. Be nice and start the day over at anytime. Just for today you will...tomorrow doesn't come until tomorrow. But today is manageable.

  5. Do not kick yourself. You are still doing great. In a long term weight loss regime, you are bound to hit a plateau and bumps in the road. But do NOT give up or take a break for the summer! There will always be stresses and events in life. There's always a good reason why it's not a good time to eat right and exercise. You can do this. Think about how good you will feel about yourself if you can look back on this time and say, I went on that trip and to that wedding and resisted temptations and stuck to the plan? Think about how crappy about yourself you will feel if you throw in the towel and wind up gaining weight all summer? Think about consequences each time you have a choice whether or not to eat something you know you should avoid - not just about the calories in that particular food, but also about the attitude it reinforces about ok, just this one piece of wedding cake (it all adds up!). Get that fire back - you are doing an amazing job and you WILL meet your goals, even if not exactly on the time frames and obstacle free path you may have envisioned.

    Personally, for the walking, I would face the wrath of the heat, except on the hottest days, rather than the boredom of the treadmill - I think it will motivate you more to be outside enjoying your beautiful surroundings and besides, you're going to sweat regardless. Just drink lots of H20.

    Go, Jen, Go! Don't slack! You can do it!