Ugh. Stuck in a rut. I haven't written because I'm embarrassed at my lack of progress. Today I weighed myself and have actually gained a few pounds, up to 321. Lots of excuses - work has been very stressful, home has been a bit crazy, was traveling this past weekend to Los Angeles and went to spectacular dinners at fancy restaurants on someone else's dime... But it doesn't change the fact that I've really let myself go, and there's a huge part of me that has lost motivation right at this point. And no more walking since the 5K. Whiny excuses to myself about how hot it is in the mornings, but still...we have a treadmill in the basement.
I think I need to go back to my earlier blog posts and see if rereading those helps me remotivate. I did go looking for clothes last week and was glad I no longer had to search for the 30/32s, but still wasn't exactly thrilled by the way I looked in 26/28s.
It's daunting, not even looking at the long term - I'm away again next week to San Francisco, and then to a bridal shower weekend, and then two weeks later to Anaheim for a conference. Then perhaps vacation with the kids, and a wedding... I'm definitely falling into the "just let it all go" mindset of thinking about writing off the next two months. But that's not the right way to approach it, I know, but it's just so hard to refocus. I had dreamt about being at 280 for my sister-in-law's wedding in mid August, and then thought, well, if I can at least hit 300 that'll be good, and now I'm thinking, well, hopefully I won't GAIN any more weight. Argh. Help!!